Adding Fuel to the Fire

The people of India have agreed not to infuse new angles to a fight in order to make it flare, while most of the world was surprised that we were giving up our favorite pastime, it comes as no surprise to the locals. The recent fuel rise has made “Adding Fuel to Fire” a rather expensive hobby! In a mutual agreement signed by the nation of billions, this comes as a sign of unity. The UPA government has quickly added unity in the nation as the main background reason for the fuel hike, indeed the have gone to the extent of making another claim that the recent fuel hike will make people more active and has ordered “Rolling on the stomach” [Paet- roll] be made compulsory for at least 45 minutes a day. Given such noble thoughts of the government even BJP was in tears and have decided to vote for UPA in every election henceforth. The Indian government has now decided fueling the growth of the nation is no more beneficial economically to the nation!

Not just this, the number of things that have now changed in the country are more than the number of fingers on your hands and mine combined. People have canceled surgeries that were scheduled as the cost of the fuel required to drop the person at the hospital has now equaled the cost of the surgery itself! We interviewed world renowned Dr. Manman Singh, he is a speech specialist and practices the art of silence, this is what he had to say

Interviewer : Good Morning Sir, what are your thought on the recent fuel hike.

Dr. ManMan Singh : ……………………………………

Interviewer : Sir are you practicing your act of silence again ?

Dr. ManMan Singh : zz ………………………zz …………………….zz

Interviewer : Sir, please get up, Mrs Soia Gani is watching you!

Dr. ManMan Singh : I believe in the integrity of the nation, I love India, I can Speak! Hurray! I do not pay for petrol so I believe no one else does either, hence the price rise will not affect my beloved supporters

In other reports from around the country, given the scenes at the petrol bunk last evening, many roadside bajji and pakoda vendors opened stalls just outside petrol bunks hoping for a good business, they would have succeeded except they forgot they needed fuel to light their stoves to prepare the dishes. This sparked of a protest and thankfully fuel was too expensive, hence the spark just sparked and nothing more. One insane woman went to the extent of threatening self-immolation thankfully[yes the government took credit for this too] she did not have enough money to buy petrol. More news pouring in from the e-commerce industry suggested big players such as Flipkart and Myntra providing online sales of petrol with a delivery charge of just 40 INR per liter, this was mainly to target those lazy people who were at home and did not get any fuel for their vehicles last night. Needless to say the above giants made a million with their scheme! Going ahead they say, they will sell petrol online and you can apply usual coupon codes to get discounts.

In a village in Bihar, a wedding was broken owing to the price surge overnight! Exact details of the reason were unclear but the preliminary reports suggested that this was a case of dowry harassment. The boy’s family had asked for a Skoda Superb and the girl’s family obliged but on the day of the wedding the family indicated that the girl’s family had evil ideas to wipe out all the wealth of the boy by getting him a petrol car. This led to a 5 hour long wordplay session between the families on the unlit streets of the village. Sources say there were many such similar incident all across the country last evening.

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